19 Hard Truths You Have to Accept to Be Successful

19 Hard Truths You Have to Accept to Be Successful19 Hard Truths You Have to Accept to Be SuccessfulThis guide works when bad things happen. Someone trolls you online? Read this. Someone hates your writing, your product, or your business? Read this. Get fired from a job or by a client? Read this. Zombie apocalypse? Whats probably mora important are zombie-smashing devices and non-perishable provisions (but afterwards...read this).1. Everyone Is Always OffendedWere all set in our ways. As much as we tout how open-minded we all are, we all have little nitpicks about everyone else. This shouldnt stop you from doing what youre doing, but it also shouldnt come as a surprise when someone tries to tell you how offended they are by what you just did.2. Someone Being Offended Means They Took bedrngnisiceThey noticed you, paid attention, and consumed what you made. Sure, they expressed their offended-ness at you, but now youre wasting even more of their time because theyre telling you how much or why they hated it. Life will continue, the planet will keep spinning, and no one but you will be the wiser that someone was offended.3. elend Being Noticed Is UniversalIf no one hates you, no one is paying attention. Every single person that youre currently paying attention to, at some point in their lives, was in your exact position. They kept at it and worked enough so that others started listening. If no one is watching yet, you can experience true freedom- dance in your underwear, write entirely for yourself, be weird.4. You Will Be JudgedFear can make us afraid of what others will think. Its not a question of if people will judge you, because they definitely will judge you. People are judgy, and that judgment is scary. While we all care what others have to say, it becomes dangerous when we value their opinions more than our own. The list goes, in order of importance 1. ur opinion of ourselves, 2. (which is a distant second) Everyone elses opinion of us.5. Theres a Differenc e Between Respect and JudgmentBeing judged and being respected are not the same thing. People can think youre an awful person and still hold you in high regard. Conversely, if someone judges you as a nice person or a decent human being, it doesnt mean they respect you. People walk all over nice and decent human beings all the time. On the other hand, people dont tend to walk all over people they respect.6. Self-Respect Leads to Universal RespectIf youre respecting yourself- publicly and proudly- chances are, others will follow. And even if they dont follow, hey, youve got yourself a nice big bowl of self-respect, and theres nothing wrong with that.7. Entitlement and Self-Respect Are DifferentSelf-respect means you know what youre willing to do and what youre not willing to do. Its honor and dignity that makes you you. Entitlement means you think you deserve something. Basically, you deserve your own self-respect and to be treated decently by others. Anything past that- youve got to work for it. And even then, even if it doesnt work out the way you wanted, thats just the way the cards fall sometimes.8. You Dont Need Those Who Dont Respect YouThe good thing about people not respecting you is that unless theyre actually causing you some sort of harm, you can ignore them completely. Theyll never support your work or make you better as a human being, so you drop them as quickly and silently as possible. Theyre dead weight.9. The People Who Respect and Value You Are RoyaltyThese are the most important people to you on the planet. Theyre the ones who not only pay attention, but are interested. Treat these people like royalty, because to you, they should be. Make things for them, be generous toward them, and basically make sure they know how much you value them.10. Confidence Is for EveryoneYou dont need to be loud to be confident. Sometimes the most confident person in the room is the quietest. Confident people know what they know and dont need to share it to build c onfidence. Confidence comes from within. They share when the time is right or when theyre asked. They also share it in a way that works for them.11. Giving a DamnGiving a damn is your lifes currency. If you give a damn about everything and everyone, youll quickly run out of damns, or even worse, go into damn debt. Your time will be spread too thin, youll stress about tiny things and insignificant people, and external factors will rule your life and run it into the ground.12. Care About What MattersIts OK to give a damn when you truly care about something. If you care about nothing, youll quickly become too cynical and jaded. Have a handful of people and causes you actually care about.13. Not Giving a Damn Is the Opposite of ApathyApathy is the indifference you feel when something just doesnt matter. Not giving a damn means youve stopped yourself from making something matter that shouldnt matter. Not giving a damn is strength in the form of willpower, whereas apathy is just not feeli ng anything. This is a key point to understand and reflect on.14. Be Foolish and Stupid as Often as PossibleHonestly, no one truly knows what they are doing. Experts, thought leaders, those who seem like they have it all- there are too many variables to account for what specifically worked in creating their success and what didnt. The only difference between them and someone who hasnt seen success is that they tried a whole bunch of ideas and didnt stop trying until something worked. Theyre more concerned with What could happen if I... than What will others think if I...15. Everyone Is Weird, Awkward, and DifferentYou are too, so use it to your advantage. The only way to stand out, or stand apart, is to be your real, weird self. Otherwise you blend in. Embrace what makes you different, even though its difficult and stressful to do. Everyone you admire or look up to does this. Think about it. They all take the reins of what makes them different and use it to their advantage. No one t hat youve heard of got there by being like everyone else.16. Dont Let Anyone Set Your BoundariesIf someone tells you You shouldnt do that, or That cant be done, assume theyre talking out their own experience until youve proven otherwise for yourself. People are well-meaning, but their advice is clouded by their own ideas, their life experiences, and their choices. Never let someone else draw your line in the sand. That means its their line, not yours, and youve just been following their lead.17. Know Who You Are (and Who You Are Not)In having self-respect and setting boundaries, it helps to know a little about yourself, so you can make these decisions. Be clear about who you are and who you arent. First with yourself, then with others. Honesty is a lot easier than you playing a role because you think its a role you need to play.18. Honesty Doesnt Give You License to Be a JerkBeing honest isnt a license for you to run your mouth with impunity, and then end things with, Hey, I was jus t being honest... No, you were being a jerk. Dont be a jerk. Not even jerks like other jerks. The best way to know if youre being honest or just being a jerk is to think first, then speak.19. Expectations Are Inversely Related to a Sense of AccomplishmentThe Bhagavad Gita states that were only entitled to the work, not the fruits of that work. Dont do anything because you expect something to come from it- do it because you really want to do it in the first place. Its like writing a book because you really want a bestseller. Its impossible to guarantee that. Write a book because you want to write the book. That way, regardless of what happens next, youve already accomplished what you set out to do.None of the above points can happen without you paying attention. Paying attention to others, paying attention to what you care about, and- most importantly- paying attention to yourself. Youre the one in charge of your life, so take charge of it already.Thats it. Nineteen difficult rallyin g points for mastering your own life. Now stop reading listicles on the internet and get back to being awesome.More From Inc.5 Reasons You Should Hire Someone Who Has Been Fired7 Habits of Remarkably Successful Startup Entrepreneurs5 Toxic Beliefs That Will Ruin Your Chances for SuccessPhoto of woman doing joga courtesy of Shutterstock.

The Secret to Getting More Responsibility

The Secret to Getting More ResponsibilityThe Secret to Getting More ResponsibilityWeve all been there You see the larger potential in the project youve been assigned. You know that taking initiative to expand the scope will not only make it better, but it will showcase your ambition and creative thinking. Youre confident that you have what it takes to kick the project up a notch, and youre ready to tackle it head-on.The only problem? You cant take it to the next level without getting your supervisorins approval, and she hasnt exactly been open to new ideas lately. Perhaps shes worried that it will pull you away from other projects, or maybe she doesnt quite get all the newfangled technology involved. Whatever the case, a little hesitation doesnt necessarily mean youre stuck. Heres how to maximize your chance for success when youre asking for mora responsibility.1. Do Your Research Preparation is key when youre making a persuasive argument. So come up with some tangible ways to explai n how taking on more or expanding the scope of the project will benefit your department and reinforce your boss goals. Could it increase sales, engage customers in a new and lasting way, or introduce a more efficient way of doing things? Also be prepared to discuss any potential costs, such as the time and money required, as well as any risks, such as an unfavorable public reaction.2. Think in Terms of the Big Picture The higher up your idea goes, the more concerned your audience will be with the bigger picture. So help yourself- and your boss- by really thinking through the implications and potential upside of your proposal. How will expanding your project help the company on a larger scope? Will it position your employer as an industry leader or get the organization more visibility? Perhaps your plan to develop a department YouTube channel could help the company reach a younger demographic and supply useful marketing shorts, or your idea for a pro bono project could foster new col laborations with partners the company has been pursuing.3. Break Down the Steps At the same time, organizing your plan into bite-size pieces will make it easier for your boss and others to see exactly whats involved. So, before you present your idea for, say, ramping up the college recruiting program, develop a project plan. List all the tasks youll need to do to get the project off the ground, along with how long it will take. With each task, identify what skills are needed and who has them. Are you the best person for the job, can you recruit a team member, or will training be needed? The more youve thought through the plan, the more seriously others will take it- plus, the more comfortable your boss will be that this new project isnt going to pull you away from your current responsibilities or just end up on her lap.4. Dont Get Discouraged Unfortunately, even the best ideas get shot down sometimes. So, if youve done your research, made a stellar pitch, and the answer is still no, its not the end of the world. But, it is a learning opportunity. Ask some follow-up questions to find out why your idea wasnt given the go-ahead. External factors, such as timing, budget constraints, or lack of board approval, might have been working against you.Most importantly, dont be afraid to make similar requests in the future. Remember, if you dont ask, the answer is always no. Plus, even just taking the time to plan for an expanded project is an opportunity in itself to showcase your initiative, creativity, and project planning skills. So, get yourself out there and go for itPhoto of people working courtesy of Shutterstock.

Is It OK to Talk Politics in a Job Interview

Is It OK to Talk Politics in a Job InterviewIs It OK to Talk Politics in a Job InterviewSteer clear of charged topics to avoid this deadly third rail of your job search.In our democracy, voting is something of a sacred right that should never be taken for granted. But that doesnt mean that as a job seeker your political views can be expressed anywhere and everywhere.From a job-searching perspective, unless youre going after a job thats affiliated with a particular party, why would you bring that up? said Tammy Gooler Loeb, a career and executive coach in the Boston area. You dont know how other people feel.A lot of times, a view you have as a voter could be a deal breaker for the part on the other side of the desk. If that person is a hiring manager and youre in the middle of a big job interview, politics could be the deadly third rail of your job search.It might seem strange that a conviction you hold so dear - whether its about the war in Iraq or Mayor Michael Bloombergs latest at tempt to make New York City healthier - can actually be so offensive to someone else, but experts say that job seekers shouldnt take that risk, especially on a job interview where youre being scrutinized on everything you say.Unless it has some specific role in the job youre applying for, I think it has no place in the conversation, said Loeb, who used to work as a political strategist in the cutthroat world of Boston politics.Everybody has their own beliefs, and one persons passion could be anothers angst. A recent poll shows that politics separate Americans more than anything else in the county, including race and class. We are such a divided country right now, Loeb said.In an election year, this polarization gets even more extreme, and its best to avoid political topics - especially the stickier ones such as healthcare, gun control and abortion rights. Sometimes, just the mention of a topic can put off a recruiting manager even if you didnt mean to express a point of view.For i nstance, the phrase Obamacare has been absorbed into the American vocabulary as a synonym for the controversial Affordable Care Act. However, its roots come from the heated political debate surrounding the passage of the law, and use of the phrase can be construed as having a negative opinion on the law itself - depending how you say it. I think it depends on what tone you use when you say Obamacare, Loeb said. Ninety percent of all communication is nonverbal.Other seemingly benign phrases can squash your hopes of a new job as well. Conversations can get touchy when people start talking about taxes, Loeb said. Sometimes that gets into talking about military spending. She added that even non-political personal matters can create unwanted friction between an applicant and a hiring manager.If youre in a job interview, you dont bring up what religion you are or how many children you have, Loeb said. There are some things that are not relevant. A New Yorker living in Boston, Loeb joked that even some sports feuds, such as the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry, can touch on sensitive areas and should be handled carefully during a job interview. But when it comes to your personal politics, she said its best to save that for the voting booth.